Did a little online dating again the past couple of months. Being in the online dating game for a while, I think the guys need some help. It will make life easier for you and less frustrating for women. And, maybe you can be one of those success stories that Match.com or eHarmony show on TV alot especially around Valentine’s Day. I know it’s a marketing plot to get you open up your wallets and dish out more money as one astute single woman blogger put it - “pay to play”. So, bear with me. I came up with these rules from my actual experiences.

Online Dating Rules for Men
1. Don’t go MIA if you are no longer interested. Just say so. A quick email that says I’m no longer interested or not that into you does the trick. You don’t have to explain but you’re welcome to. We women are more resilient than you know.
2. Don’t be a flake. If you’re going out of town or have a busy week, let us know. A quick email will do. We start to think that you are no longer interested (or dead in a ditch) if you stop emailing or calling us after you were consistent in the beginning.
3. Don’t be an email pen pal. The whole point of online dating is to eventually meet in person. If you continue to email more than five times, we will think that you don’t really want to meet us. Don’t hide behind a computer.
4. If a woman gives you her phone number, call her within a day or two. Don’t do the third day rule or one week rule. All it does is make us frustrated. You will not come across as desperate.
5. Don’t be a “talk” player - someone who says how beautiful we are or how lovely our smiles are and don’t move to the next step like wanting to meet in person. Be an action guy.
6. Put up a photo that really looks like you. Photos from five years ago and ten pounds lighter will just make you like ridiculous when we do meet you in person and you look nothing like him.
7. Don’t talk about your ex on a first date. It’s scary when we hear the whole sorted story of how your wife abandoned you and your kids and how you are (via a lawyer) making her move to the same city. Let us learn about it as we get to know you.
8. Don’t overdo it. Be yourself. Sending love e-cards everyday or spending over $100 on a huge bouquet of exotic flowers for the first date overwhelms a girl. And, don’t say you’re looking for your third wife right away either.
9. Don’t ask our body dimensions like what size are our breasts or butt on our first phone call. You will definitely not get a first date.
10. Don’t tell us stories about how a demon has been in your life since two years old and how this demon destroys everything good in your life. Especially when I tell you I don’t want to meet in person. It’s not the demon’s fault.
11. Nasty, put some clothes on (as Beyonce so aptly put in her song). Photos of you chest bare slinked against some car doesn’t do it for me. Or for most women.
12. Don’t be a mama’s boy. No woman will ask you to decide between you and your mama. If you are long distance and are not ready to make the journey to meet, don’t use “I haven’t even visited my mother this year” excuse. Just say “I don’t want to fly out and meet you” (even though I contacted you first knowing that you live in another state).
13. On our first date, don’t tell me how much you hate dogs and how you have to clean up their poop. Especially when the dog hasn’t done anything for you. I wonder what you think about babies.
14. Don’t talk about other girls you’ve met online on our first date. On how many you have gone out with and which one is your favorite one.
15. Don’t be a liar. If your ex is back in your life, say so. Don’t let us women find out when we are talking to you on the phone and we hear her in the background. But, you say she has no where to stay. Has she heard of hotels? Motel 6 has cheap rates.
16. Also don’t be a liar if you are a felon and spent time in jail. We’ll find out eventually.
17. Shame on you if you are married and online. There are websites especially for cheaters like you.
18. Separated is still married. Even though you don't live together, you're not divorced.